I am having a hard time with this picture.
I am going to be honest here, and perhaps you will know how crazy I am at times. Don't be too frightened, ok?
I keep looking at it.
I was certain Ben had edited it. I mean, I knew he had not reshaped me at all, but I was certain he had played with it. I love this picture.
This was taken last weekend before we went on a Surly Beer Tour. (Local beer that is freaking awesome!) Ben kept telling me all day that I was beautiful, and as usual, I told him he was sweet. I can't say I look in the mirror and ever feel I am beautiful.
There are times I feel I have put myself together better than other times, like this one last summer:
That is my oldest son Alex. Cute kid, huh?
I have had such negative thoughts about myself my whole life. It is pictures like this that snap me out of my low self-esteem moments. I think I look beautiful.
What I realize about both of these pictures is the common theme; not that my hair was perfect, or that I am wearing a favorite outfit. I am happy in these pictures. I am with those I love more than anything. In both pictures I am looking at the man that inspires me to be the best person I can be. Words cannot describe the joy I have in my heart for him.
When I look at pictures of me from my past, I think it is the joy that was missing. I can look at pictures from moments in my life, after the births of my children, for example, and know that I had joy in my heart, but it just did not come out in the picture.
Ok, I guess that is enough crazy thoughts for a Saturday. I am going to get up off the couch now, and stop staring at my picture.
Have a great day!