Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Uninspired is not that I am lacking the subjects to talk about.  I have good recipes from last week...well, maybe one or two.  I have ideas swirling in my head.  But I honestly think I am talked out by the end of the day.

At work I answer emails, "talk" via instant messenger, answer questions, ask many questions of my own, and sit in meetings. Lots. of. Meetings.

In this environment, I have a defined subject, and I talk about that subject all day. Blah blah blah.

What I would really love to do (and be paid for it mind you) is get out and talk; talk to people.  Large groups, small groups, one on one. It matters not.

So, when I say I am uninspired I guess it is really unmotivated.  Unmotivated to make the keys on the keyboard speak for me.

I believe I am also affected by the phenomenon that I don't have the word for; I describe it as when you have LOTS to say, you just don't know where to begin and how to make an approach.  You have experienced it I bet.

Disclaimer: This is not a specific example of what I am experiencing.   I just want to give you an idea.

You have something you are upset about, say with your spouse.  The more you think about what it is that is upsetting you, the less you talk.  It ends up with your spouse asking What is wrong?   Your only response? Nothing.

Like I said, I am not upset with Ben about anything; on the contrary, I could not be happier. He lets me sit quietly and recognizes when my brain is moving 100 miles an hour even though there are now words coming out.

I am seeing things in my life I am reacting to, and I am certain overreacting a bit.  I am reading the words of others and want to scream STOP I can help you if you let me.  I am just not sure where to begin.  I wait for an invitation for help that is not coming.

So I will wait for that time.  Maybe.  We will see.

In the meantime, blog world, please know that I am thinking about you.  I have lots to share, and I will.




  1. Ya know Kel,Every post and writing and advice you put to paper is worth reading. It is the words that just seem to flow from that 100 mile mind. You have a gift and I know you will figure out how to use it! I enjoy reading what you have to say, so Thank you!

  2. This is how I end up with rambling, pointless, going-nowhere stream of consciousness posts on NM. LOL I do know the feeling. I love that Ben is cognizant of when you need quiet! And as for the smoldering silence of pissiness, that described most of my plane ride home from LV. I knew exactly what was happening and tried to make it stop but exhaustion led me to prefer a pity party to peace of mind. It resolved itself on the ride home from the airport, without any mention of "what's wrong" -Greg knows when to keep his pie hole shut (after he figures out that he opened it in the first place LOL).