The Kel Show: Crack!

Disclaimer: I do not use drugs. I only refer to some food choices as crack. May also be referred to as crack-a-licious.

Now that I have the legal stuff out of the way, here is a recipe for Crispy Chocolate Chip Cookies.

Disclaimer: There is not a darned thing healthy about these cookies.

They can, however, be fit into a balanced day. I am choosing to not have one of these today. I am making most of them for some coworkers that have been working really hard on my project. They all sit in a small conference room together for hours on end. I figured the appearance of some cookies might brighten their day a little. Plus, it will get the majority of these cookies out of the house. I will likely have one tomorrow, but today, I really wanted to have corn bread and beer with my chili. Choices, my friends, it is all about choices.

This is based upon a recipe from my friend Jennifer. The original recipe called for a cup of shortening. I missed the flavor of butter, so I have tried several iterations of these cookies; butter flavored Crisco, margarine (gasp!) and finally I settled on a combination of the fats. You see, the fats in this cookie are what make them so good! I have never tried to make them healthier. This is a cookie. I do not believe in taking a food that is a treat and try and make it healthier. I think when you do that, you end up eating more with the misguided belief that they are a "health food" or they are just a little shy of what it is you really want. You will never see me use plastic, artificial sugars in any recipe. Don't get me started. I will sub applesauce when it was part of the original recipe, but these cookies must have the fat!

Okay, here goes. One last disclaimer:
Disclaimer: Proceed with caution. If you are someone that cannot stop at one cookie, this may not be the recipe for you!

Crispy Chocolate Chip Cookies
Makes 48-52 cookies (depending on how much dough gets snagged...)

1 stick (1/2 cup) butter, room temp
1/2 cup Crisco shortening
1 cup vegetable or canola oil
1 cup granulated sugar
1 cup brown sugar, packed
1 tea vanilla
1 tablespoon milk
1 egg
1 tea salt
1 tea baking soda
1 tea cream of tartar
3 to 4 cups of flour (I would not normally have a range of flour, but with these cookies, a more humid day requires more flour. Generally I just split it and use 3 1/2 cups)
1 bag chocolate chunks
1/2 bag of mini chocolate chips

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Line cookie sheets with parchment paper.

In your mixer, add the butter, shortening, oil and your sugars.

Now, beat the ~~hell~~ heck out of it. I am not kidding. You are not only trying to cream the butters and sugars, you want it almost white and fluffy, like this:

When you are making a chewy cookie, like an oatmeal cookie, don't mix the heck out of it. When making a crispy cookie, mix the heck out of your fats and sugars.

Add your milk, egg, and vanilla. Mix until combined.

Add the salt, baking soda, and cream of tartar. Mix until combined.

Okay, turn off the mixer. Add your flour. Now is NOT the time to beat the heck out of it. You do not want to mix it like crazy after your flour, or you will get a crisp hockey puck. Mix gently, and only until combined.

Add the chocolate chunks and mini chips, taking care to not have a few fall into your awaiting hand.

Again, mix until combined. Use your rubber spatula now, to ensure it is all mixed completely and you don't have any chips that are not married with dough.

Beat anyone that tries to eat your dough.

I really like to use a cookie scoop for nice, round cookies. It is certainly not required.

You know the drill here. Scoop, cookie sheet, yadda yadda yadda. Here they are, waiting for me to close the over door!